a top 10 list of bizarre tales from the bible

It always amazes me that there are people that accept the bible without question as the inerrant word of God. I bet a lot of them have never read the thing. 

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Cheeseburger in a Can Signals the Downfall of Humanity [PIC]

I honestly can't figure out how I feel about this: is it the greatest achievement of mankind thus far, or is it an abomination of foodstuffs that deserves to be hucked back into the gaping maw of whatever food processing plant it was spewed from? I just don't know what to think anymore. Would you eat a cheeseburger in a can?

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New Kids on the Block are getting back together...Sign of the Apocalypse?

Wow. How about that, not just a reunion.. but they're.. getting back together?So according to TMZ, and People, after months of speculation and rumor, the Kids are coming back. A well-placed source tells PEOPLE exclusively that New Kids On The Block are indeed getting back together. Announcement is planned for February..

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Researchers in Maryland Unleash Synthetic DNA

The researchers chemically created DNA fragments in the lab then used homologous recombination (a process that cells use to repair damage to their chromosomes) in the yeast Saccharomyces cerevisiae to rapidly build the entire bacterial chromosome from large subassemblies...

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Senator Mike Gravel on the Oppressive Nature of Religion.

One question that seems to embarrass all Presidential candidates is the question on Evolution. Some refuse to recognize its existence as a legitimate theory and prefer to let religious beliefs dictate their political message. Others refuse to discuss or advocate for the views of atheists, merely because they represent a minority of votes

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Fighting with your spouse can make you live longer

Fighting with your spouse can actually be good for your health with people who bottle it all up found to die earlier, a new study shows. Researchers at the University of Michigan School of Public Health and its Psychology...

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Scientology versus Watchtower

VS


As much as I dislike Scientology, I have to ask myself: Are they any worse than the J.W.s ? The answer of course is, no. Now I admit that I have a chip on my shoulder when it comes to the J.W.s, having been a victim. But I think my argument is valid. You just have to Google Watchtower or Jehovah's Witnesses to find a sizable collection of horror stories. In fact, arguably they are worse. Most of the victims of Scientology tend to be adults and primarily the damage is financial (not always but mostly). True, there have been reports of Scientology being directly or indirectly causing the deaths of some their adherents,  but for the most part its a loss of time and funds. The J.W.s however, are responsible for a mini-holocaust of innocent children and brain washed adults.  

So Anonymous, what are your feelings about the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society?

Now the Three Little Pigs are racist!

In yet another case of political correctness gone mad, a British education agency has slammed an electronic version of the classic fairy tale as it 'could offend Muslims'.

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The Internet has had enough of Scientology

The internet has had enough of scientology trying to censor it and is fighting back!

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ANON release Scientology secret DOX

Dear Sci peepsANON delivers!WE ARE ANONYMOUSWE DO NOT FORGIVEWE DO NOT FORGETWE ARE LEGION

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War Breaks Out Between Hackers and Scientology

Wired's take on the brewing war against Scientology. Take a guess as to which side they're on...

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Proof there is a god!

HUCKABEE BROKE! (LINK)

PRAISE THE LORD!

The Rice Big Pharma Fears

Is an ancient Chinese remedy more effective than two of the biggest cholesterol fighting drugs on the market?

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Holy War or Invasion

When Jehovah's Witnesses and a local evangelical Christian church compete for your soul, everybody loses.

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Top 10 Reasons to Believe Logic Over Religion

8. Bad things happen to good people, great things happen to bad people. For a society that constantly gets the short end of the stick when it comes to miracles, why the hell are people stopping to help stalled motorists getting raped & murdered, but every time a girl scout makes it to my door she’s out of thin mints? I’m sick of it!

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Can you patent life?

One of the cornerstones of the free enterprise system are the patent laws. If you invent or innovate something new or improved you are able to reap financial rewards for a specified period of time. You are able to license your product and collect royalties. If some one steals your unique product, you have legal recourse to mitigate damages. Part of the cost of a product to the consumer is often either that royalty to the patent holder or a premium price to help defray the research and development costs incurred in the creation of a new or improved product. Of course this is all old news . For the most part (except for a few glitches here and there) the system has worked fairly well. But in the last few years companies like Monsanto and others have begun patenting life. So how can you patent a living thing?

Starting in the last half of the 20th century the use of bio-engineered crops that are resistant to herbicides have revolutionized farming. Even though the newly developed strains are more expensive to buy, they cost less to cultivate. Why weed your field when you can spray with herbicide and kill everything accept the crop. So what's the problem? Accidental cross pollination  puts the patented genes in your neighbor's crop and now he is technically stealing those (albeit accidentally) those super plants. That 's when the legal hilarity ensues. 

There was a case a few years ago involving Indian rice farmers. They grow a type of rice called Basmati. Many consider this to be the Rolls Royce of rice. It is long grained, fragrant and has a delicate flavor. The farmers in India have selectively cultivating this rice for centuries. Each year they have been saving the best seeds with the most desirable characteristics. All was well until a Texas company bio engineered a similar rice. They applied for and received a patent for all Basmati type rice. By treaty the farmers in India would have to had to pay royalties  to the Texas company to grow rice that they themselves developed 500 years ago. Of course that probably would have ruined the typical farmer in India. After a bit of legal wrangling the situation was sorted out. But it raises a few sobering questions about our food supply for the future.

Do we really want huge multinational corporations controlling our food supplies? Is it possible that a perfectly sound business decision at the boardroom level cause a famine halfway around the world? Is there such a thing as a benign monopoly? Can we trust a for profit corporation to do the right thing if it adversely affects the bottom line or the price of stock? How safe is our food supply if everybody is growing the same variety of grain from the same genetic stock and it becomes susceptible to some blight or pest? (Can you say Irish potato famine) 

Sign me:

Nervously stocking up for next famine in Dayton.

Emoose out

Pay Monsanto, or Starve

Prepare to be infuriated....

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ABC News: Huckabee's Son Arrested With Handgun

Not only is Mike Huckabee crazy, his son is to.

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Study: Clowns Universally Hated by Children

Bad news for Coco and Blinko - children don't like clowns and even older kids are scared of them.

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Rubber Testicles Now Banned from the Back of Trucks

A controversial Virginia lawmaker is trying to introduce new legislation to ban rubber testicles from being fitted to the back of trucks. Isn't it great that Virginia has no crime,no poverty and no unemployment so they concentrate on this kind of minutiae.

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Was I safe as a kid?

I recently posted  a link to a Mattel TV ad from the late fifties or early sixties. This ad was for something called a"Fanner Fifty". Only one kid on my block could afford one of these things. But let me point out that not only could you not manufacture and sell that toy today, you could  not even show that commercial. Firstly it's a toy gun, no longer a politically correct toy. It shoots a projectile, can't have little Johnny putting out an eye. Thirdly it shoots a cap,We can't damage anybodies hearing (can you even buy caps anymore?). Fourthly that commercial is sexist(see "Firstly"). 

Let me also point out that growing up I was far from being the most adventurous kid around, but I:

1. played tackle foot ball with out helmet or pads
2. rode a bicycle on the street without lights or helmet
3. played baseball without a batting helmet
4. climbed trees
5. shot at other kids and was shot at with BB guns and air rifles
6. swam,waded and splashed around in creeks, rivers and lakes not designated as safe
7. made bombs
8. played with fire
9. played with variety of caustic chemicals
10. played with electricity
11. got numerous cuts, scrapes, splinters and bruises and never received first aid or went to an emergency room
12. my parents never heard of a car seat
13.  had toys with millions of bits and pieces small enough to choke me
14. had a bow and arrows
15. had a sling shot
16. had a pocket knife at seven
17. had a hunting knife at eight
18.  had two obnoxious sisters that tried to kill me on several occasions(or at least humiliate me)
    

I don't really have a point here, except maybe we forget what its like to be kid. That you really can't keep your kid safe all the time, no matter how hard you try. Maybe we are not doing our kids a favor by making their world too safe. They might be better off getting a few bumps on their own and learning from the experience than they might be from being wrapped in gauze for the first 18 years of their life.

Sign me

Sitting in Dayton fondly remembering my genuine  Col. McCauley , "Men in to Space " Space helmet complete with voice changing space communicator microphone.(see picture above)

Emoose out

Huckabee: Amend the Constitution To "God's Standards"

At a campaign stop yesterday, former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee recommended — to a cheering audience — that the Constitution be “changed” to fit “God’s standards." Dear God please deliver us from your servants. 

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Is it me or does he

look like Howdie Doody?

End death by stoning, Iran urged

Amnesty International has urged Iran to drop from its penal code the punishment of death by stoning, a fate awaiting 11 convicted criminals, the group says. The majority sentenced to death by stoning are women, Amnesty says.

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Big pharma invests more in advertising than in research

about twice as much; 24.4% of the sales is allocated to advertising and 13.4% for research and development

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The Economist:US Medical System Lags Behind Other Countries

The Economist looks at a study made by the 'London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine' in19 countries for deaths of under 75-year-olds that should have been avoided with proper health care. Preventable deaths declined by 16% on average. Time to listen to Patch?

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Adventures in customer service 2

What is it with people showing I.D.s. People evidently think that I ask for I.D. because I am morbidly curious. Some people just don't carry any. I can see that they drove to get here, they must have at least a drivers license. Somebody told me that half of the drivers in Dayton do not have a drivers license (or at least a current one any way) and that 2/3 don't have insurance. I find that hard to believe.  

Usually when I ask for I.D. the customer will go through this strange pantomime like dance of searching pockets, patting themselves down or emptying wallets and purses. After they figure out that I am not going to rent them a room until they show one, 9 out of ten times the I.D. magically appears. That 1 out of tenth time they say something like,"I left it in the car", and the next sound I hear is them driving away in a hurry. Nothing suspicious about that. 

And while I'm at it, if you smoke, ask for a smoking room. Leaving the door ajar doesn't help. And yes smoking pot is still smoking. 

Sign me:

Smoke free and licensed in Dayton

Emoose out

Adventures in customer service

A middle aged black lady came in looking for a room.  She proceeded to tell me her life story, apparently her apartment building burnt down and needed a place to stay. She said a few months ago the ceiling of her apartment collapsed and she had to stay here then. She wanted the weekly rate even though she was only paying for one night. She added that she had renters insurance  and that they would be paying for her lodging. I quoted her the regular rate and the much lower weekly rate. But she would have to pay the regular rate until she got things worked out with the insurance company then we could credit the difference. She then proceeded to tell me that I:

1. was a terrible person 
2. would not"work" with her
3. was not as nice as the girl that worked here a few moths ago
4. was running a shabby motel and the other motels in the area were nicer and cheaper
5. should be ashamed of my self
6. would never see her again
   

Now mind you that as she was saying these things she was forking over her money. So I guess the price and quality of our establishment wasn't all that bad. It is also strange that her name and address was not on the computer (it goes back 2 years) and she did not know which door to use to get in to the office. Hmmmmmm! Is it possible she was fibbing? I felt like saying,"Yes madam I am terrible, I am the spawn of Satan and my father Beelzebub and I bid you welcome,Buohahahaha!"Makes me wish we had bedbugs. 

I wish this guy was't right, but he is!

Below find a link to an article about Ohio. Unfortunately it is all too true. I couldn't have said any better than the author of this piece. If you live in Ohio please read it. If you live in the U.S. you should read it:
Link

I currently live in Dayton, and if you don't know about Dayton  let me enlighten you. Dayton was at one time the hub for technology and innovation. Everything from aviation, automotive, computers, paper and even the arts. Dayton companies and Dayton residents were responsible for how you start your car, open a can of pop or how you pay for a retail purchase. But now the Gem City is but a shadow of its former self as is Ohio. Read it and weep.

Sign me:

Depressed in Dayton

Emoose out

SWAT Team Necessary Because Man Is a Constitutionalist

SWAT team is sent in because of a psychotic paramedic.

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Kitty Cat Terrorism

I had just gotten into bed for a daylight snooze. I adjusted my ear buds and pressed play on my iPod. My eyes were closed and my body began to relax. Just as I was attaining a level of peaceful relaxation here to fore unknowable by any mere mortal, I became aware of certain feline presence. It was our cat Tesla, (yes named after the famous Croatian inventor)he had jumped up on the bed and was circling me as though I were prey and he was a great fanged prehistoric stalking cat. I opened one eye and saw that he was sizing me up. 

He began pacing back and forth in a manner that seemed to be saying,"How dare try to sleep in my royal omnipotent presence. " Like some person much wiser than myself once said"Feed and house a dog and he'll think you are a god, feed and house a cat and he'll think he's god". My next thought was if I ignore him he will let me go to sleep. Naive on my part wasn't it? He then started head butting me repeatedly. "Silly human, how dare you ignore me, we have ways to get your attention"he was thinking(I speculate).  After that did not garner the attention he was craving he proceeded to jump on my chest. You'd think that a 10lb cat wouldn't bother a 300lb man would you? Au contraire mon amie! His little paws felt like stakes being driven in to my tender flesh. 

Soon he was walking in circles, causing me excruciating pain. Then he began kneading my chest like he was making a loaf of whole wheat bread.  Finally I relented, I began stoking his back, scratching his ears and chin and of course the feline equivalent of crack, I rubbed his belly. After about twenty minutes of my coerced ministrations, he promptly left my chest, only to cuddle up in my very vulnerable crotch area. There he stayed for another thirty minutes contentedly purring. Of course about this time I had the urge to go to  the bathroom. My bladder is not cat proof. I carefully moved Tesla from my nether regions and tip toed to the john. When I returned he was gone. I carefully closed the door  to prevent a renewed invasion of my now very sleepy personage. "Morpheus, where for art thou"I thought as I reinserted my self in to bed. Crisis averted. Tell the NSA to stand down.

Sign me:

Bullied by cats in Dayton(or cat 1 moose 0)

Emoose out

Top 100 Funny Quotes

Top 100 Funny Quotes from great thinkers such as Voltaire, Plato, Einstein, Niche, and many more.

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TV Horrors part 3

Do you remember the first time your significant other passed gas in front of you? Do you remember the time you were over at you best bud's house and his or her mom and dad got into an argument within your earshot?(or insert your own appropriate personal memory here)Remember how uncomfortable you felt? Not only for yourself but for your friend?How about the first time you passed gas in front of your significant other? 

There is a TV show on the A&E channel that makes feel that level of discomfort. It's called "Intervention". My wife has been watching this show and for me it's a real stomach churner. It makes me feel like I just walked in on my sister taking a shower. Or accidentally heard my neighbor making hot monkey love to the missus. The basis for this series is family and friends staging an intervention for a loved with a drug or other addiction. Perhaps I'm getting too sensitive in my old age, but there are times when I can't look at the screen.  I feel as though I am watching something that should be very private for all parties involved. Can you imagine one of the participants the next day at work or school? How about church? 

I support the rights of someone to broadcast this show, just as I support any body's right to watch this drek. But on the other hand I think this lets me feel how other people might feel about pornography. The only difference is that I just pitch a bitch on my blog about about it and go make myself a sandwich when it's on.

Sign me:

A little more reluctant to give up the remote in Dayton

Emoose out

Maxi-pads and Outhouses

Being the sole possessor of a Y chromosome in my household I have more than a passing familiarity with the feminine hygiene aisle. I remember one time being sent to the local supermarket on one of those missions from god runs. A middle age black lady was running the cash register, she had the look of "the wisdom of the ages" in her eyes. She took one look at my order that consisted of:

1. One box maxi-pads
2. One bottle Midol
3. One bag of pretzels
4. Three Hershy bars
5. One box of Tampons

She shook her head knowingly and said,"you poor dear".

Yes I have been a victim of P.M.S.(Pre and Post). So I thought I was at least sympathetic to the issue. But a commercial that has been playing on the tube lately brought up an angle that I had never considered. Always brand pads has a program where they supply pads to girls in South Africa.  Because of having their periods stops them from going school one week a month they some times fall behind in school. They have a built in biological disadvantage when it comes to school attendance. I also would not be surprised if their culture did not have some sort of taboo or rules concerning the menses cycle. Perhaps considering menstruating women unclean for a period of time. 

I don't think that a giant multi-national corporation does this for just to be nice. I'm sure they get a nice juicy tax break and they probably will get a lot of business down the line from an emerging economy. None the less it is amazing how something so simple that we take for granted can make a such a huge difference in someones life. But I wonder how the village elders feel about all those girls now able to get an education. They have got to think about the old ways slipping away. After all in similar cultures young women represent the largest labor contingent. How are  you going to keep them barefoot,pregnant and working the field once they find out about the outside world. Eventually it means the collapse of their way of life. Pretty amazing thing to achieve for little absorbent pad, eh?     

This situation also reminds me of another situation that cropped up a few years ago in Ethiopia. It seem that in a typical Ethiopian village that man can defecate when and where wants. High Noon in the village square a man can drop trou (or whatever they wear) and pop a squat. Road, back yard, front yard, rain or shine. Women however are not allowed to defecate during day light hours. That's right, a women doing a number 2 in daylight is considered obscene. A bewhiskered old fart of a village elder dropping a deuce with his wrinkled old but hanging out is perfectly acceptable. Can you imagine having to hold it in all day. What if you had dysentery? (and Feminists in America think they have it bad)

To make things worse all this freelance pooping was causing all sorts of health problems. So not only for comfort and dignity of the women, but for health of everyone something had to be done. The solution? Outhouses! Who would have thought that a few 18th century out houses did more than for that country than billions of dollars of foreign aid.

Sign me:

Glad to be living in America

Emoose out

Iowa, you are scaring me!

I was an early charter member of the "Anybody but Hillary Club", but now we may have to expand the scope of our organization. How about the "Anybody but Hillary,Huckabee and Romney Club". I can't belive you fools in Iowa. Huckabee? C'mon Huckabee? 4 years of Huckabee? Think about it! You guys in Iowa are making us in Ohio look like geniuses . The only good news out of Iowa?  Obama beat Hillary. 

Sign me:

Shakin' in my boots in Dayton

Emoose out

 

TV Horrors part 2

Now Don't get me wrong, the Mooseman likes checkin' out the ladies, but have you seen a show called "Project Runway"? It's a kind of game show where fashion designers compete. Over the years I have worked hard to overcome the homophobic bias so common in my generation. But doesn't it seem that the gay community is getting a little over represented on prime time? They claim that 10% of the population is gay but I'd say that around 60% is the norm for that show. Now obviously not everybody on this show is gay but saying most of the males on this show are gay would be pretty much accurate. My wife loves this show, she Tivos every episode. But every time I watch it I get the urge to drink beer out of a dirty glass or take up bull riding. Perhaps to start jogging nude in hale storms. Maybe pushing grease and dirt under my finger nails  and hanging out at auto parts stores.  I feel as though my male essence is being drained away. I guess its just my long repressed male insecurities creeping to the fore. 

Sign me:

Looking for a testosterone fix in Dayton

Emoose out

I AM LEGEND 3?

I managed to catch I am Legend  with Will Smith. I was expecting to totally hate this movie. After what that man did to" I Robot" I was waiting in ambush. I had all my verbal barbs ready to go. But damn it, he just so like able. Okay, the movie sucked overall, but Will smith and the cute doggie, OH MY GOD HE MADE ME CRY! Last time a dog made me cry was in" Ole' Yellar". 

The opening scenes of an abandoned New York City are almost worth the price of admission. However the CGI treatment on the infected humans was horrible. Overall the Vincent Price version is actually a better movie. So my advice is wait for a rental and in the mean time read the book or catch the Price version on the late late show.

My rating: 2 antlers up for the cute doggie and the ever pleasant Will Smith (out of 4)

Emoose out

New Years Day Dream

This morning I climbed into my nice warm bed for a New Years Day Nap. After being up all night(working not partying) I was ready to catch some z's. It wasn't long after I snuggled up to my nice soft comforter and popped in the ear buds from my Ipod that I gave my self over to the sweet embrace of Morpheus. Soon I began to dream. It was one of those lucid ones in full Technicolor and dolby digital surround sound.

I had just gotten off the bus and and was walking the couple of blocks to my house when I spotted my old 1969 Mustang Mach One parked in front of my house. It still had those B.F. Goodrich high performance tires with the raised white lettering. The gold racing stripes and the chrome on the dual exhaust still gleamed. Behind me I heard someone say"Sweet ride you got there Moose".I turned around and saw Roger and the other five guys from my graduating class that never made it home from 'Nam. They were sitting on the porch wearing their caps and gowns just like the last time I saw them. "Thanks man, maybe later we can take a drive gas is still only 39 cents a gallon like it was in 68"I said . "Sure moose, maybe later, but right now me and the boys are goin' out for some cold ones""Just wanted to stop by and say hello and to tell you everything is okay"he said as he and the rest of the guys nodded there goodbyes.  

As I went inside I was ambushed by my good old dog. But now she wasn't bleeding from her nose from a tumor and she wasn't crippled up from arthritis. She was bouncing around like puppy practically knocking me down with her greeting. I knelt down and scruffed up the soft fur behind her ears. "You are such a good girl" I said as started scratching her chest with my fingernails, soon she was grunting like she did when she was content. "About time you got home young man"said a voice from over by the fire place. It was my uncle still smoking unfiltered Lucky Strikes one after another. He gave me a wink,then I saw on the big couch my Dad and Father in law swapping fishing stories(read lies). 

And from the kitchen I caught the scent of roasting turkey and fresh baked pumpkin pies. And there was my Mom moving at near warp speed setting the table. My kids were there too bringing out serving bowls heaped with mashed potatoes green beans and yams. It looks like Mom made home made bread. Pretty soon we were all sitting around the table. All the people that I ever cared about were at that table. My wife sat next to me, my kids across from me,my Dad sat at the head of the table. My Uncle was now on the porch so he could keep on smoking his Lucky Strikes, 30 years of death has not changed him. My wife asked me to say grace.

"Well"I began "I'm not much of a praying man any more, but if I were, this is what I would pray".

"I would pray that those 6 guys from the class of 68 wouldn't have died. I'd pray that they came home got married, made fortunes and had a flock of kids". "Then I'd pray we had our dog back and that we never had to have her put down."" And I'd pray that my Uncle, my Dad and Father in law were all 100% cancer proof and never died."  "I'd pray that my wife were pain free and never had to take pain meds again""I'd pray that my Daughters will find all the happiness that life has to offer and live long healthy lives". "And I'd pray that people would stop hating and hurting each other all over the world and that I never had loose anybody else I cared about". AMEN! Then we ate. A good time was had by all.